It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
