I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
