Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
