doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
