I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
