I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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