i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
