I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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