I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
