Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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