Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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