this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
