Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
