I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
