We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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