I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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