Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
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