then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
