Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
