why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
