Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
