Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
