Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
