Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
