so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
