Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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