I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
