he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
