worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
