True but thats because hes a fetus.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm always down for nudity.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
