i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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