Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
