Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
