I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
