turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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