He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
