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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.

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• (607): View more from New York

  do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on

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• (850): View more from Florida

  He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read

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• (949): View more from California

  this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?

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