The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
