a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
