Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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