Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
