Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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