haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
