Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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