"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dicks are not precious.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
