Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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