So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
