im drinking this country out of the recession.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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