i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
