my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize