I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
