Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
we should paint friendship bongs
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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