guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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