You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
