This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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