We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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