Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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