I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I need to align my fucking chakras
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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