That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
