At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
