dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
