Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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