Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
