is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
